Buy a Ticket to Buy More Disney Merch

You may have seen one of the avalanche of articles proclaiming just how wonderful it is that a new Disney cruise ship will have a Haunted Mansion themed bar called the Haunted Mansion Parlor. I can’t imagine very many people will actually take a cruise to go to a themed bar, but if that’s you, I don’t judge you. I hope you have a great time.

My beef is with the little tidbit that was dropped in the press release alongside pics of the bar. It seems this will be a place where you can line up to buy some exclusive HM stuff. That’s right. Pay for a cruise just so you can buy more Disney merch!

Disney has been way ahead of the curve with park exclusives and Disney Store exclusives for decades. Now, they’re attempting to extend that reach into every pocket in sight. Have you been on Disney Plus lately? I have, and despite the fact that I couldn’t find much there worth watching, I noticed that they’ve added merch access buttons to individual shows to try and get you to buy buy buy while you watch!

I used to respect Disney for the artistry and presentation of it’s animated features and parks. I even worked on the backlot in Burbank (technically, I was employed by Touchstone, which used to be the adult subsidiary of Disney). But now, it’s nothing but money grabbing as far as the eye can see. That ship has only one rudder, and it’s made of solid gold.

Folks, there’s only one response to this - stop buying the merch. You know I adore the original Haunted Mansion attraction as much as anyone, but I’ve bought my last licensed HM product. As long as we keep buying, Disney will continue to focus on selling goods instead of developing quality entertainment.

Felix Silla

Hollywood is a strange place. Nothing will guarantee a lifetime of work more than a unique physical attribute and an eagerness to perform in any role offered to you. Being on time and not being an asshole can help too, but those first two all but guarantee that once you get your foot in the door, it’ll be wedged there for as long as you want.

Felix Silla may have had a very small foot, but it stayed wedged in that door for most of his 84 years. He started out as a circus performer who found success in Hollywood due to his diminutive stature. He famously played Cousin Itt on The Addams Family and Twiki on Buck Rogers but he was also in the original Star Trek series, Return of the Jedi, Planet of the Apes, Batman Returns….let’s just say it’s a long list.

His agreeability and his attitude of gratitude earned him the first phone call almost any time a little person was needed on set. It’s a lesson many Hollywood A, B, C, and D-listers could learn from. Silla never stopped being that boy from Italy who never thought he’d find a place in show business. In that way, he reminds me of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Neither man ever stopped being grateful for their seat at the table and it showed.

Felix Silla died last week at the age of 84. I’m sure he will be missed by his friends and family, but he won’t be missed by most of us. His life’s work lives on in the tremendous body of entertainment he was a part of, none of which is more memorable than his performance as Cousin Itt. As Gomez might say, “Rest in peace, old boy.”

Halloween 2020 Will be Like No Other

photo © Thomas Raven

Los Angeles County health officials have declared trick or treating off limits for 2020. The LA County Department of Health document (which you can read in full here) states:

Not Permitted (gatherings and events are not currently allowed under the Health Officer Order)

• Halloween gatherings, events or parties with non-household members are not permitted even if they are conducted outdoors.

• Carnivals, festivals, live entertainment, and haunted house attractions are not allowed.

Not Recommended

• Door to door trick or treating is not recommended because it can be very difficult to maintain proper social distancing on porches and at front doors, ensure that everyone answering or coming to the door is appropriately masked to prevent disease spread, and because sharing food is risky.

• “Trunk or treating” where children go from car to car instead of door to door to receive treats is also not recommended, particularly when part of Halloween events, since it is difficult to avoid crowding and sharing food.

Permitted and Recommended

• Online parties/contests (e.g. costume or pumpkin carving)

• Car parades that comply with public health guidance for vehicle based parades including:

  • a. Drive by events or contests where individuals dress up or decorate their vehicles and drive by “judges” that are appropriately physically distanced.

  • b. Drive through events where individuals remain in their vehicles and drive through an area with Halloween displays.

  • c. Drive in events where individuals can receive a treat bag (limited to commercially packaged non-perishable treats) or take away item from an organizer while the participants remain in their vehicle.

• Halloween movie nights at drive in theaters (must comply with the public health drive in movie theater guidance).

• Halloween themed meals at outdoor restaurants (must comply with the restaurant protocol).

• Halloween themed art installations at an outdoor museum (must comply with the public health museum guidance.) Dressing up homes and yards with Halloween themed decorations.

This comes as no surprise given the state of the world these days and I expect other municipalities will soon follow suit. What is surprising is how this is being reported. Most reports, including that written by Hayley Smith of the LA Times, focus on the opinions of a handful of people willing to talk to reporters. This inevitably includes some entitled jerks spouting off about their rights and how awful it all is.

While the woe-is-me approach may sell papers and air time, it also dresses the 2020 iteration of our beloved holiday in more doom and gloom than the grim reaper. The health department clearly went out of their way to include alternatives to trick or treating, but the focus remains on the loss of something near and dear to the hearts of many readers.

Let’s face facts. No one wants to contract COVID-19. Isn’t our health more important than the usual celebrations? That doesn’t mean Halloween is cancelled. It just means we have to get creative and come up with some new ways to celebrate.

I’ve been inventing new ways to celebrate Halloween since I was a child, so I’m pretty good at it at this point. The health department came up with some pretty good suggestions, so I know YOU CAN TOO!

There’s nothing to mope about. It’s time to embrace a new and different Halloween this year and enjoy the hell out of it! I know I will. Here are a few suggestions from yours truly:

• Halloween art contest with a theme

• make as many different costumes as you can from a pile of clothes and costume pieces

• Pumpkin smashing contest! Leave the remnants behind for animals to eat.

• cemetery candy hunt (like an Easter egg hunt but in a cemetery)

• grave rubbing expedition (see details here)

• Write your own Halloween song

• Halloween karaoke

• Make your own Halloween playlist

• Decorate your yard to show the world how much fun you’re having this Halloween!

There are lots more but these will get you started. Have fun safely celebrating the greatest holiday ever!