Buy a Ticket to Buy More Disney Merch

You may have seen one of the avalanche of articles proclaiming just how wonderful it is that a new Disney cruise ship will have a Haunted Mansion themed bar called the Haunted Mansion Parlor. I can’t imagine very many people will actually take a cruise to go to a themed bar, but if that’s you, I don’t judge you. I hope you have a great time.

My beef is with the little tidbit that was dropped in the press release alongside pics of the bar. It seems this will be a place where you can line up to buy some exclusive HM stuff. That’s right. Pay for a cruise just so you can buy more Disney merch!

Disney has been way ahead of the curve with park exclusives and Disney Store exclusives for decades. Now, they’re attempting to extend that reach into every pocket in sight. Have you been on Disney Plus lately? I have, and despite the fact that I couldn’t find much there worth watching, I noticed that they’ve added merch access buttons to individual shows to try and get you to buy buy buy while you watch!

I used to respect Disney for the artistry and presentation of it’s animated features and parks. I even worked on the backlot in Burbank (technically, I was employed by Touchstone, which used to be the adult subsidiary of Disney). But now, it’s nothing but money grabbing as far as the eye can see. That ship has only one rudder, and it’s made of solid gold.

Folks, there’s only one response to this - stop buying the merch. You know I adore the original Haunted Mansion attraction as much as anyone, but I’ve bought my last licensed HM product. As long as we keep buying, Disney will continue to focus on selling goods instead of developing quality entertainment.

Cemetery Lane is Back!

I’ve long thought that the west coast needed a Halloween attraction that truly captured the feel of autumn back east. Cemetery Lane does it’s best considering the fact that you’ll still be outside in the So Cal heat. 2022 will be the second year for this marvelous trick or treat experience at Heritage Square in Pasadena.

From their site: “Cemetery Lane is spooky but safe -- no jump scares, but eerie with ghostly sights and creepy characters. While intended for all ages, the event is less scary during our daytime hours, and gets spookier as the night goes on. We're aiming to keep it fun for children while hitting all the Halloween vibes adults will enjoy.”

Tickets aren’t available yet, but you can rest assured that they’ll go fast based on the great word of mouth last year’s debut season inspired. This year, CL will be presented for two weeks, doubling last year’s run. Don’t miss it!

Spook Shows

I noticed that Electric Vector was offering some mashups of throwback spook show signs, and they got me thinking about those shows and wondering what they were really like. Much like carnival dark rides, spook shows were probably hit or miss, but you can’t deny the appeal of their classic Halloween imagery.

Beginning in the 1920s and continuing all the way until the late 1960s, spook shows took place all over the US. They included séances, magic tricks, hypnotism, and cheap jump scares (like throwing “live” snakes into the audience). Film producer William Castle honed these tactics to a chisel tip to work with films he produced (like The Tingler), but real spook shows took place on stages and in movie houses after mainstream plays and movies had ended for the night. This relegated them to midnight time slots that were perfect for drawing a young, mischievous crowd.

From what I can gather, there’s no film footage of these shows because it was important that they remain mysterious in order to draw a crowd. I have no doubt that the hype surrounding the attractions was usually much more impressive than the shows themselves.

There have been a few attempts at resurrecting this style of entertainment, but never with the Halloween flair of the originals. In the 90s, the Jim Rose Circus Sideshow was a freak act that often went on the road with grunge and metal festivals.

That’s me at the top left.

I even produced my very own late-night series in Memphis for five years, but I found it easier to find comedians to include than spooky folks at the time. I performed a few Houdini-esque escapes and played the part of the goth MC, but the bulk of the show ended up being improv comedy. I’m afraid it was a far cry from the spook shows of old, despite my best intentions to recreate the feel of those performances.

Probably the biggest reason why spook shows folded up was the change in the attitudes of audiences. During the 1920s, spiritualism was at an all-time high. That’s one of the reasons why Halloween suddenly became a major holiday in the states. Most Halloween parties included divination games, many of which were designed to help guests learn about their future wife or husband. It was a couples holiday and scares certainly helped to drive them into one another’s arms.

As American society evolved over the course of the 1960s, fewer and fewer people were interested in magic and the occult. The Hammer Horror films were slowly pushed out of cinemas in favor of the horrors of war and crime. Adults began to see Halloween as a children’s holiday in the 1950s and that trend continued for several decades. Similarly, spook shows and dark rides began to be considered childish.

I genuinely wish I could go back and see those shows, even if they were goofy. I imagine them to be much like the amazing gadgets offered in the back of comic books - cool on paper but disappointing in real life. Some might ask why we need such paltry fare when we have awesome rides like The Haunted Mansion. My answer? Because it’s cool.

Live theatre has been pretty much dead for most Americans for many, many years. And yet, there’s still something very special about an audience and a performer being in the same space at the same time. Go to see live stand-up comedy and you’ll see what I mean. Comedians are always funnier in person than they are on their Netflix special. Always. There’s just something about being there. I can imagine that even the goofball, spiritualist performances that Houdini spent much of his life debunking could be highly entertaining. I’m not much for “the good old days” because many of those days were filled with misery for large segments of the population, but I would like to have experienced a spook show or two.

Spooky Swap Meet

Well, I’m a couple of days late on this one, but it’s worth noting for next year if you’re in the southern California area. It looks like a lot of fun for those of us who want to spread Halloween cheer all year long, and this year it even coincided with Witches’ Night (AKA Walpurgis Night).

According to its web site, the Heritage Square Museum “is a living history museum that explores the settlement and development of Southern California from the Civil War to the early 20th Century, offering visitors a look into the everyday lives of Southern Californians at the close of the 19th Century.” It’s a small neighborhood of homes set up to look the way they would have appeared when they were new, complete with all the accoutrements.

The folks who run the Midsummer Scream haunter’s convention realized that this wonderful vintage neighborhood would be the perfect place to trick or treat, so the Halloween event Cemetery Lane was born. The Spooky Swap Meet is more of a festival atmosphere, with curated vendors of all things spooky.

Learn more at https://spookyswapmeet.com/.

Cemetery Lane

I don’t know much about this except what’s on their web site, but if you’re in the Los Angeles area, you really owe it to yourself to check out this new Halloween attraction. It’s set at Heritage Square, a collection of older homes and buildings that acts as a museum of architecture in the Montecito Heights neighborhood. It’s a cool destination at any time of year, but this year it’s becoming especially cool for Halloween!

Check out the details at https://cemeterylane.com!