Review: Beetlejuice (1988)

 
 

I lament the loss of the 90 minute comedy. Back in the day, most comedic films were around 90 minutes long to keep the scenes tight and the budgets low. These days, most movies breeze past the 120 minute mark without a pause - even comedies!

I mention that because Beetlejuice is a sparse 92 minutes in length. In that short time, so many great story ideas and visuals are presented that I’m sure modern directors would adopt the more is more approach were they making the film today. We’ll see when Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is released later this year. But back in 1988, this lean comedy really fired on all cylinders. Surprisingly, Michael Keaton’s Beetlejuice character was restricted to just a bit more than 17 minutes of that run time. His bravura performance was used as the spice, just as it should have been.

Restraint isn’t a word I’d have thought I’d ever applied to Beetlejuice, but it comes to mind when I consider just how amazing the screenplay is. Moments speed by, prompting rewatch after rewatch to absorb the details. Those details aren’t really important, but they help to make Beetlejuice into much more than the sum of its parts.

While it’s clear that the Maitlands are the main protagonists here, the antagonists are much harder to pin down. It’s a shifting sea of characters, all of whom work both for and against the Maitlands as they try and negotiate the afterlife. In the end, the only real antagonist is Beetlejuice himself, but it doesn’t take much of a squint to see him as the protagonist in his own tale. He is the title character, after all.

Tim Burton has always sucked as a film director. His best films are the one where he hardly directs at all (see Ed Wood). However, he’s an amazing scenographer. It really took a leader with an affinity for the gothic, a talent for design, and the ability to sit back and let the cast take charge in order to make this movie work. His direction here is sound because the script really doesn’t require a lot of intricate camera work or articulate shots. It’s much better if the film is shot like a traditional comedy so we can enjoy the performances without getting distracted by too much meddling from the director.

And what performances they are. There’s not a single weak link in this cast. Every single actor holds their own in every scene, and that’s no simple feat when you have Michael Keaton milking every shot like his life depends on getting laughs from the crew. I’d list the other standouts but there are none - they all standout in their roles. Sadly, there’s a pall cast on the production by the sexual misconduct of Jeffrey Jones (Charles Deetz) later in his life, but that doesn’t change the fact that his performance here is top shelf.

I should also mention Danny Elfman’s music. It’s the perfect set of sounds for this film despite the fact that he reprises his trademark bouncy motifs from Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. His addition of the violin-played theme for the character of Beetlejuice really helps to root the character in the distant past while some gently magical melodies expound on the wonders experienced by Lydia and the Maitlands.

Beetlejuice is one of Burton’s best films, alongside the aforementioned Ed Wood and Edward Scissorhands. In it, he played to his strengths with the help of an amazing cast and crew. Highly recommended.

Will Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire be Another Family Feature?

 
 

By now, you’ve probably seen the teaser trailer for Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire. Maybe you put it on repeat and watched it over and over again, wondering where you might get one of those red, GB parkas. It’s a decent enough trailer that doesn’t give too much away, so that’s good. And I’m happy that they appear to be moving away from legacy villains and existing ghost designs. I mean, seriously, the only new design elements in Afterlife were the pseudo-Slimer, the Ecto-1 gunner’s seat and Bill Murray’s jowls. However, my fear is that this will just be another kids movie.

When GB was made in the 80s, it was a raunchy comedy because that’s what those guys did back then. Sure, it was toned down a bit to get it out of R-rating territory for Columbia pictures, but it has a ghostly blowjob scene in it for crying out loud! Ghostbusters wasn’t made for children back then. But now, it is.

Afterlife was a fairly successful merging of the 80s kid movie aesthetic (think Goonies and ET) with the Ghostbusters IP because, in the years since 1984, GB loomed large for kids. I blame The Real Ghostbusters, that substandard animated series that came up with some flimsy excuse for none of the guys looking or sounding like the characters we knew. Most adults completely ignored it, but as it turns out, it was highly successful with kids. In fact, it was a gateway for them to get into Ghostbusters, and it remains a nostalgia trip for many millennials.

Now, we’re full on in the world of family-friendly Ghostbusters. In my opinion, despite the best efforts of Paul Rudd, the new GB isn’t very funny and it should be. I forgot that when watching Afterlife the first time because I was just so relieved it wasn’t as bad as the 2016 Paul Feig dumpster fire. I guess we’ll all see what we get next year when the new film’s released, but I’m not holding my frozen breath thinking we’ll ever get another GB movie that’s anything like the original film.

Whatever Happened to Thanksgiving Season?

 
 

Once upon a time, Thanksgiving was a holiday all its own. I remember my mom even putting up Thanksgiving decorations, the likes of which are probably only seen at a few elementary schools these days. We had die cuts (some of which would now be highly offensive), tissue paper turkeys, and lots more. I think we even had a cornucopia with autumn flowers in it. But that’s not the point. The point is that we actually celebrated Thanksgiving as it’s own holiday.

This weekend, I watched a few college football games. If you judged solely based on the commercials seen, you’d think we were in mid December instead of early November. Everything was Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, which makes no sense when it’s still nowhere near wintertime. I’m okay with the winter holidays, but I’d appreciate it if we could contain them within the winter season, or at least December.

Thanksgiving is getting smashed like a disused mall just because it’s in the way of the moneymaking machine that is the Christmas season. It used to be the starting line for Xmas - now Halloween is. As soon as Halloween wrapped up, my local Target had completely eradicated it in favor of fir trees and jingle bells. What was so weird was that it practically happened overnight. It took their slow-ass staff most of October to eek out their Halloween section in fits and starts, but that Xmas department was up and running in microseconds as soon as the jack-o-lanterns were extinguished. Ready…Aim…Xmas!

What’s wrong with relaxing and giving Thanksgiving its due? Autumn is my favorite time of year, so why not enjoy it? I plan to.

Happy Day of the Dead 2023!

 
 

The Day of the Dead often gets overlooked in the US since it lives in the shadow of Halloween here. The fact that it’s such a beautiful holiday, with a different kind of chill factor, makes me feel that it’s an important yin to Halloween’s yang. Even though I don’t believe in an afterlife, I still enjoy celebrating those (people and animals) who are no longer with us.

I don’t have to go into the history of DOTD since you can look it up yourself on Wikipedia. Instead, I’d like to tell you why I think it’s okay for all of us to celebrate it. We’re increasingly reminded that other cultures feel protective of their traditions. In many cases, that comes across as a warning because these traditions are often co-opted and misrepresented.

I feel that we all grow through the sharing of traditions. I mean, how far along would Halloween be if only people who are descendants of Celts were allowed to celebrate it? I think we can learn a lot about other people and their cultures by embracing their traditions, as long as we do so with respect.

So, I encourage you to create your own ofrenda to deceased loved ones and remember them with the joyous remembrance that’s unique to this celebration.

Happy Halloween 2023!

 
 

I awoke to a foggy, overcast morning - perfect for the thrills and chills of the holiday. The candy is stocked, the decorations are up, the lights are ready. Now, I just wait for darkness to descend and for the little ghouls and goblins (and Barbies) to appear at the door and demand their due with the best holiday phrase ever: TRICK OR TREAT!

I hope you have a wickedly wonderful Halloween!

BOOK REVIEW: A Season with the Witch (2016)

 
 

Every October, I pick a Halloween-centric book or two to read. This year, I picked up A Season with the Witch by J.W. Ocker (do his friends call him J.W.?). It was published in 2016 so there’s not even a hint of a discussion of the pandemic or national politics. Yay! The basic concept is that the author spent the entire month of October living in Salem with his family and these are the interviews and experiences that came out of that. I suppose the goal was to present an overview of Salem, warts and all. To that end, the book is successful.

Where the book wanes is in it’s inconsistency. It vacillates wildly between travelogue style, historical non-fiction, and personal musings. As such, it’s more like reading a series of blog posts than it is a cohesive book. In fact, I’d say the author’s style reads more like that of a blogger, with snarky asides at every turn. It’s informal for sure, so if you’re looking for more history and less anecdotes, look elsewhere.

Overall, I found it to be a fun read, though I do admit to skimming past subjects that were of little interest, like the interview with Salem’s mayor. I just wasn’t interested in her prattling on about how great Salem is and reading the author’s repeated mentions of the mayor character in Nightmare Before Christmas.

There isn’t much depth to any of this, and that’s fine for a breezy read. I found it entertaining enough for an Autumn distraction. If only his editor had removed all of those “because Salem” remarks from the ends of paragraphs.

Buy a Ticket to Buy More Disney Merch

 
 

You may have seen one of the avalanche of articles proclaiming just how wonderful it is that a new Disney cruise ship will have a Haunted Mansion themed bar called the Haunted Mansion Parlor. I can’t imagine very many people will actually take a cruise to go to a themed bar, but if that’s you, I don’t judge you. I hope you have a great time.

My beef is with the little tidbit that was dropped in the press release alongside pics of the bar. It seems this will be a place where you can line up to buy some exclusive HM stuff. That’s right. Pay for a cruise just so you can buy more Disney merch!

Disney has been way ahead of the curve with park exclusives and Disney Store exclusives for decades. Now, they’re attempting to extend that reach into every pocket in sight. Have you been on Disney Plus lately? I have, and despite the fact that I couldn’t find much there worth watching, I noticed that they’ve added merch access buttons to individual shows to try and get you to buy buy buy while you watch!

I used to respect Disney for the artistry and presentation of it’s animated features and parks. I even worked on the backlot in Burbank (technically, I was employed by Touchstone, which used to be the adult subsidiary of Disney). But now, it’s nothing but money grabbing as far as the eye can see. That ship has only one rudder, and it’s made of solid gold.

Folks, there’s only one response to this - stop buying the merch. You know I adore the original Haunted Mansion attraction as much as anyone, but I’ve bought my last licensed HM product. As long as we keep buying, Disney will continue to focus on selling goods instead of developing quality entertainment.

The Scariest Thing I've Experienced This Halloween Season

 
 

In my quest to find particular Halloween items, I sometimes wander into some sad and desperate places. None has ever been as sad and desperate as my recent visit to Walmart.

I haven’t been into a Walmart store in 20-30 years. I hate the place. It feels like the apocalypse has come and gone leaving piles of detritus behind for the last few humans to fight over. I once had the misfortune of working for a company who relied on sales to Walmart. I got to witness firsthand the arrogance and condescension of Walmart buyers who knew they held people’s livelihoods in their talons. They would insist on purchases that the company lost money on in order to ensure other purchases. This was before Amazon had gripped America, so Walmart wielded a mighty fist. I imagine things are similar (or worse) when dealing with Amazon today.

I had read online that Walmart had those Empire blow mold trick or treat pails shaped like jack o’ lanterns. You know the ones. They used to be for sale everywhere for 99 cents during every Halloween season, but these days, they’re hard to come by. I wanted a couple of them for a project, so I actually looked up the closest Walmart and made a special trip there this week. I sincerely wish I hadn’t.

The outside of the store was nice enough. It really didn’t betray the evil lurking inside. The parking lot was a total mess, but that’s to be expected in the area where the store is. However, once I got through those doors, my personal hell began.

I won’t go through every detail, but I will say that I felt dirty immediately. Maybe it was the sky high stacks of garbage products that made me feel like I was on the trench run in Star Wars. Maybe it was how the employees seemed to cower like they’d been recently whipped. Maybe it was the way i was eyed suspiciously by fellow customers who couldn’t be bothered to wear underwear. By the time I reached the Halloween merch, I was itching to leave.

Sadly, I never saw the product I’d ventured into that hellscape for. To be honest, it might have been there. I just couldn’t be bothered to go up and down every aisle in search of it. I found myself eager to leave, so leave I did.

On the way out, I set off the store’s security alarm. I didn’t miss a beat and kept right on walking. I felt a lot like a prisoner who’d found the gap in the fence. No way was I hanging around any longer than I had to.

I sincerely felt relief once I was back in my car. I decided then and there that I’d mastered the Walmart Escape Room for the last time and I vowed never to return. At least not until Walmart decides to sell more Halloween blow molds.

Halloween Decor!

 
 

I started decorating the last week of September. I used to do it earlier, but I found I didn’t like to decorate when it was still hot outside. It just didn’t feel right. I think the last week of September and the first week of October are the best times for me. YMMV.

The photos above show you the fireplace in my living room all decorated for Halloween. I have so many decorations that I turned an extra bedroom into a Halloween room year round. I love going in there and visiting the holiday throughout the year, but putting it front and center like this is even better. I always end up forgetting some of the decorations and experiencing the joy of discovery all over again each year.

I’m trying not to lament the fact that we’re more than halfway through October already! It always goes by so quickly. I never feel like I get enough time living in the wonderful world of Halloween, despite the fact that I have my own Halloween room. That’s different. It’s not just the decorations, it’s the feel of the time. It’s the cooler weather and the change in the angle of the sunlight. It’s the fact that, for this brief moment each year, the rest of the world is on the same page as me.

I hope you’re enjoying every last second of your own spooky season. Happy Halloween!

Yard Ghosts! Quick & Easy Halloween Decor

 
 

I added these ghosties to my Halloween decorations this year and they turned out even better than expected given how relatively easy they were to make. They even run on solar power so I didn’t have to run power cords to them in order to light them.

The inspiration for these ghosts came from this video on Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/halloween/comments/16ow7td/light_life_hack/

Here are the parts I used:

2x white carvable pumpkins - I bought mine from Michaels but they’re not listed online.

2x solar powered LED pathway lights - https://www.homedepot.com/p/Hampton-Bay-Hawthorne-Matte-White-Solar-LED-Weather-Resistant-Path-Light-14-Lumens-with-Ice-Glass-Lens-and-Vintage-Bulb-4-Pack-P5100-01-6white/324154034

2x 84” round tablecloths (sheer) - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08RRQ392D

2x shepherd’s crook garden stands - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08S392DGG & https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08S3DR6LN

Here’s how I assembled them:

It’s not difficult. Just follow these steps.

  1. Assemble each shepherd’s staff leaving the crooked section off.

  2. Carve faces in the pumpkins.

  3. Carve a hole in the top of each pumpkin to match the diameter of the path lights.

  4. Carve a hole in the bottom of each pumpkin for the path light pole to protrude through.

  5. Place the path light into the pumpkin. Use glue, tape, or cable ties on the pole under the pumpkin to keep the path light in place.

  6. Use some tape to slightly increase the diameter of the shepherd’s crook pole so it just barely squeezes into the path light pole from below.

  7. Now you have a pumpkin on a pole with a light inside. Check and see if there are light leaks. Now’s the time to cover them. Especially check around the top of the pumpkin.

  8. Open up a tablecloth and find the center.

  9. Cut a square from the center the size of the solar panel on top of the path light. Be careful since these tablecloths are very thin, but they need to be to transmit more light.

  10. Affix the tablecloth on top of the path light lid, leaving the solar panel exposed. I used some heavy duty packing tape and it’s held up through lots of rain so far this year.

  11. Secure the foot of the posts in the ground where you want your ghosts to reside.

It’s all pretty simple. I hope you enjoy sharing your home with your new ghost friends!